what am i doing...

Have you ever woke up and wondered where your life is going?

                Today was that day for me. I woke up around 2pm, because you know, not being able to find a job, I can do that some days. Only lately some days has become multiple times a week.  I think I may be falling into a slump. I do the same thing every day lately. I wake up, check my phone, turn on the espresso machine, have a cigarette, chat with the roommates,  make my latte, watch crap tv, listen to a two year old play and go crazy, eventually I’ll look for something to clean. No such luck because my roommate is a neat freak and cleans everything all the time. So I grab the laptop and scroll through Facebook… the world of excitement.. people talking about their inside jokes and pretending to care about other people’s problems with a “like” the rally of pot users sharing pictures in hopes that they will change the views of others by sharing this picture of the positive marijuana uses or the mothers with the “look at my baby, cutest in the world and so smart” posts and pictures, while im just sitting here like, I could post about how my day is going but nobody wants to know about that.

I cut my hair today, that’s something new I guess. I came home after having a long conversation with a friend about making life changes and just went at it, it’s not half bad, I mean , I can go in public looking like this..  And I decided that I think that I am going to go to school to be a nail technician, I have been toying with the idea for a while and I think I’m just going to go for it, I mean what is there to lose….besides $4,100, and there’s the brick wall. Money. How the hell do you get anywhere in life when you’re broke. Somehow I’m supposed to have education for a job, but I need to have a job for education and it’s just a clusterfuck of thoughts running through my head because you can’t get financial aid or grants to go to beauty school..

Then there’s photography, I could always find a money making opportunity in that, I’m still waiting for my camera to arrive, seeing as how the house fire ruined my last one.

In all honesty I don’t know what the fuck I’m doing with my life…